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Joke of the Day

"This year for Christmas.. This year for Christmas I got a new shirt and piece of ass from my wife. Figures, they were both too big!!"

"How do you know when a woman is about to say some thing intelligent? She starts her sentance with ""A man once told me"""

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee: Free."

"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"

"A good surprise is like an invisible penis... ... you never see it coming."

"What do you call an aggresive white guy that over-acts in a movie? A salty cracker with cheese."

"If you listen to Nicki Minaj backwards, you'll hear the illuminati's plans What's worse, if you listen to it forward, it's Nicki Minaj"

"The French I can speak fluent french, watch this... ""I Surrender"""

"What happens when you give an Italian a coupon? It makes the Dego buy faster."

"What paper product speaks really quickly? Wrapping paper."