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Joke of the Day

"A dad walks into his daughter's room and saw her fapping with a cucumber, he said: Hey! I was going to eat that, now it's going to taste like cucumber!"

"I bet a lot of people have tried that ""See you next year!"" joke at the end of December but got proven wrong by dying in a DUI."

"Why does Game of Thrones always kill off its main characters? For the good of the watch."

"People who don't understand what I'm trying to say are anti-semantics."

"what did they call the hooker who only slept with vegetarians? a herbiwhore"

"Thought my Siamese twin was giving me the cold shoulder. Turns out he was dead."

"Bae: come over Me: do you have food? Bae: my parents aren't home Me: Are they gonna come back with food?"

"You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop... I've that."

"I bring giant stuffed animals into carnivals so when I walk around people will think that I am good at something."

"My laptop just passed away. What's the mourning period for this? Do I need to wear black? Is it ok to cry?"