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Joke of the Day

"A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer and a mop."

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"I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard."
"theres a train nerd counting the number of ppl that get on and off at every stop. at first i pitied him but he seems happy so now i hate him"
"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's house? A right a right a right"
"Did you hear about Dictionary: The Musical? It's a play on words..."
"what gets wet as it dries? your sister"
"Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?"
"Male seahorses get pregnant. In related news, scientists believe men who tell women what to with their bodies come back as seahorses."
"When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, ""Ladies first"" it really means ""Go ahead. I'll stand back & watch how your ass walks."""