58179

Joke of the Day

"There's an opening for a scapegoat at our office. I think you'd be perfect for the job."

"How much does it cost to buy multiple prosthetic limbs? An arm and a leg."

"Chuck Norris has only farted once. The last time that he did, the universe was created."

"You know when it's a viral video when... The video is taken vertically."

"What do you call a man with no legs? You call him by his fucking name what's wrong with you"

"Morning wood starts the best fire."

"I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn. Edit: thanks for the gold! It's my first!"

"You think your day was bad? I just had a 15 minute long argument with a couch cushion."

"Why wont Apple ever make a car? Because it can't have windows in it!!!!"

"Haha no i do not care what people think of me. Why what have u heard tell me everything right now"