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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a joke about Nitric Oxide ? NO"

"I'm extremely terrified that Donald Trump might run this country..... I completely mean that."

"God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes God super mad."

"If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?"

"""Don't worry, I'll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends."" - Cargo Pants"

"Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Ghouldilocks."

"Ladies, don't tell me you care about the environment if you don't support my ""Share a Shower"" water conservation program."

"What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened? ""Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"""

"Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out ""Is anyone there?"" I've seen the movies...those people always die!"

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken!"