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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I wanted to connect a couple of watches together to build a belt to hold my pants But I figured it would be a waist of time."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me:I'm cute? Cop: Nope Me: you like my car? Cop: Nope Me: I could do this all day."

"Did anyone else think that... Mel Gibson's remake of the 'Life of Brian' wasn't nearly as funny as the original?"

"[nsfw] the ultimate trifecta of dirty joke so, i was going down on my grandma, and i started to taste donkey semen, i looked up at my dear sweet grandma and said, "" jeez, grandma thats how you died?"""

"I never knew how smart Dolphins were... They are so smart that after only a few weeks of captivity they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish"

"You really gotta hand it to short people.. Because they usually can't reach it anyways."

"Police officer: Excuse me but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle."

"Life's like a box of chocolates It doesn't last very long for fat people."

"What do you call a four about four? A meta-four."

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam"