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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Where were you at the time of the murder? Me: I'd trapped myself in a Tupperware container Cop: Damn, that's an air tight alibi"

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"Photographers are so violent. They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you."
"So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now."
"A Lawyer walks into a bar Well, technically, he wasn't a lawyer yet..."
"Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is embarrassment, social shame and everyone thinking you're an idiot"
"What goes ""Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop click-click-click-click-click-click pop-click""? A stuttering South African tribesman."
"I think I'm going to sell my theremin I haven't touched it in ages..."
"Why did Jesus get a ticket? He tried to skip the Cross walk."
"If you don't send the person you're stalking a nude photo of yourself, then you're not taking that relationship serious enough!"
"Whats the most common work of fiction? The average persons resume"
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