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Joke of the Day

"I entered ten puns in a contest ... to see which would win. No pun in ten did. ps: not my own, came across randomly."

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it wasn't born yesterday!"

"What are a mathematician's five favourite numbers? 0, 1, e, pi."

"[lying with girlfriend & looking up at the stars] ""Hey--"" *points to shooting star* ""You've put on a lot of weight."""

"Political(& Subtle) Joke Why was the Tree afraid of the Bush? Because the Bush did 9/11"

"If I had a dollar for every girl I fucked ... ... I would be still fucking poor!"

"What would the Pilsbury Doughboy be if photos of him were constantly being put on magazine covers? A roll model."

"Women aren't that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve."

"What do you call a 12 year old protein? A pretein"

"*holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up an opened lap top* this is my sound cloud, please check it out"