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Joke of the Day

"Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then."

"So I had a dream the other night that I won $100K on a scratch off lottery ticket. Tonight I bought one and I won my $1 back"

"Did you hear the one about the Irish boomerang ? It doesn't come back .............. it just sings about how much it wants to."

"In light of recent events... Killing 50 people isn't hard when they're all in the closet."

"I love the smell of fabric softener through the outside vents when people do the laundry. I get a lot of restraining orders though."

"What flavor is the milkshake? How far away is the yard? How could you know its better than mine? You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident."

"Yo' momma so stupid... she thought euthanasia was a student exchange program."

"Where do fish deposit their money? River banks"

"I'm God's gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute."

"What do you get when you put a woman's face on a $10 bill? $2.23 in change."