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Joke of the Day

"Going to take my girlfriend out on a date to a Jewish restaurant. Hopefully it'll bring us kosher."

"Cashier at McDonalds said ""See you later"" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch."

"Matthew 11, Luke 9 and John 12... ...are just three of the boys Father O'Reilly has to stay at least 50 yards from."

"People with FB statuses like, ""I'm so angry right now"", then when someone says, ""What's up?"" they reply, ""I'll text you."" WHAT ABOUT US?"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never had a lentil on my face"

"Cock... is a fowl word."

"Hey, Gandalf! What is it that bats can do but badgers can't? FLY, YOU FOOLS!"

"How do you pick up Jewish chicks? With a vacuum cleaner."

"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch."

"A giraffe walks into a bar, orders 6 martinis ...and shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help."