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Joke of the Day

"Month End Status Month begins with lots of happiness and ends with just a few coins & credit card bills"

"Imagine if people referenced the Beach Boys more often! Wouldn't it be nice?"

"What's the difference between Greece and a good software application? Greece doesn't have default settings!"

"""If you love the bed so much why don't you marry it?"" *imagines beautiful ceremony on the beach, me & Beddy. No one can stop our love now."

"Had phone sex then I got hearing aids. EDIT: then"

"if eren jaeger is a teenager and he's also a titan wouldn't that make him a.... *teen titan* http://imgur.com/R6lGaGL"

"What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? An etymologist knows."

"I wonder what part of the Constitution we'll all be fighting over today? I hope it's the preamble. That part's bullshit."

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked."

"I'm not afraid of spiders. I'm afraid of people who are afraid of spiders. Please stop screaming and put down the hammer."