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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked."

"What did Helen Keller call her dog? <smashes keyboard>"

"How many Ron Pauls does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"LOL at the neighbor kids who didn't realize I keep my piranhas in the hot tub."

"What did the spud lover do before it went to bed? It set its alarm for eight -- so it would get a potato clock."

"How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence?"

"What is the most sensitive part of your body when you are having a wank? Your ears."

"Police Chief: As a recruit you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother? New Recruit: Call for backup!"

"Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we should go out sometime Me flirting: So do you like bread"

"Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away."