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Joke of the Day

"""911, what's the emergency?"" we were robbed. they stole the wireless router ""calm down"" also they shot my grandma or something. not sure"

"Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?"

"I for one is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard"

"A guy was so bored he broke a watch with his bare hands. Then he said ""i've got too much time on my hands"""

"the host of the party told me to make myself comfortable so I went back home to bed"

"I stayed at a hotel in Silicon Valley last night... The amenities were great. They even gave me a complementary metal-oxide-semiconductor."

"Chinese takeaway - 17 Delivery charge - 1 Realising the idiots have forgot one of your containers - Riceless"

"Why didn't the Chinese guy get any time off from work when he told them about his son's death? They didn't bereave him"

"A very busty woman whispers to me ""I want you to tell me if these look real"" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing"

"Samsung have done well with the Galaxy Note 7 Sales are blowing up!"