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Joke of the Day

"Samsung have done well with the Galaxy Note 7 Sales are blowing up!"

"Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics? He was on performance-enhancing rugs."

"WAy back in the day Canada was originally called CND So America calls CND and asks them to spell it so they know what to write on their maps. The guy from CND replies, ""C eh, N eh, D eh."""

"Why would anyone want to be a masochist? Beats me"

"Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one."

"A subscription to *Time* is not the most difficult concept to get your head around. I've told you: *Time* and *Time* again."

"When do you ground an astronaut? When they're astronauty."

"I didn't believe it when they told me the government had accidentally opened a portal to another dimension while trying to spy on the Russians... But I guess stranger things have happened."

"Best Joke which defines me I am married and not allowed to make decisions :D"

"Friday night. Friday night- Cant get fucked- Women are sluts or too stuck up- Cant grab pussy- Cant get head - If it werent for lotion Id shoot myself dead"