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Joke of the Day

"Amsterdam is like a tour de France - it's full of people on bikes and drugs. -- Heard this last weekend while visiting Amsterdam"

"Why was the Berlin Wall torn down? It didn't match with the iron curtains."

"Was having a problem with one of my contact lenses. Fortunately, my wife had the solution."

"I'm writing a movie about a woman who kills her husband by giving him poisoned Viagra. Calling it ""Die Hard""."

"Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead the dough."

"What is a chiropractor's favorite chemical element? Knee-on!"

"Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, obsessive compulsive butcher? He used to lay in bed at night worrying about why he constantly weighed a steak."

"It's 100% legal to give cops the finger. But remember, it's also apparently 100% legal for them to shoot and kill you."

"What do you call an orgy with five black people? A threeway"

"What did the German physicist call his beer mug? Ein stein."