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Joke of the Day

"What does a Astronaut that likes to play Basketball eat for Breakfast Space Jam I hope this hasn't been posted yet"

"Pharmacy A man walks into a pharmacy - ""Id like 3 packs of condoms please"". The pharmacist - ""Here you go sir, would you like a bag"". Man: ""No thanks, the girl is good looking""."

"""Today's special is a grilled Chilean sea bass with white wine reduction. We recommend Instagramming it with the 1977 or Apollo filters..."""

"I've hated dentists way before they started killing lions."

"Not to brag, but I can usually tell if meat has spoiled between 4-6 hours after eating it."

"How did the pepper end up getting killed? A salt with deadly weapon"

"Did you hear about the guy who was frozen to absolute zero? He was 0K."

"Real redneck woman. How do you know you're with a real redneck woman? She can put in a dip know what to spit and what to swallow."

"KID:I drew you a picture! ME:What's this? KID:Our house. ME:What's the orange stuff? KID:Fire. ME:Why's the house on fire? KID:I wanna PS4."

"God never gives you more than you can handle. But I'm not God. I'm just a bag boy. And you'll wanna take these groceries out in the cart."