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Joke of the Day

"Real redneck woman. How do you know you're with a real redneck woman? She can put in a dip know what to spit and what to swallow."

"I should have gone to see the optometrist I can't anymore"

"What do you call a homosexual man on roller skates? Rolaids."

"What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ? Gravi-tea !"

"[opens fortune cookie] be careful what you wish for [opens another] this is your final warning"

"Going as a hashtag for Halloween so everybody ignores me."

"Two baby seals walk into a club..."

"Joke from my grandpa I once met a girl who had a boob on her back. She wasn't much to look at, but she sure was fun to dance with!"

"SNAKE: im gonna bite you SNAKE CHARMER: u are so sexy S: wha- SC: *presses finger to lips* still wana bite me? S: *blushes* well not anymore"

"What's the difference between a decrepit rickety bus and the Egyptian god of death? One is an old bus and the other is Anubis."