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Joke of the Day

"Not to brag, but I can usually tell if meat has spoiled between 4-6 hours after eating it."

"What did one Viking war paint say to the other? Poly, you're a Thane."

"If people were as passionate about world affairs as they are about their opinions on tattoos, we'd be on WWVIII by now."

"Nowadays People know the price of everything, But the value of nothing."

"The average person has sex 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!"

"I'm giving up negativity for lent. We'll see how long that lasts. Edit: aware it should be pessimism. This is a serious quote from a friend who didn't realise what she'd said."

"I walk around in public saying ""wait for me guys"" so everyone thinks I have friends."

"Little to no thought was put into this status."

"I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but... you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either."