154224

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who was frozen to absolute zero? He was 0K."

"ok guys the gofundme I set up to hire a hitman to kill me is already at 3x its goal you can stop contributing"

"I like to spend my Sunday night wishing it wasn't Sunday night."

"My browser asks ""are you sure?"" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history"

"When playing the guitar in public... keep in mind not to finger A minor, you could get arrested."

"""Still upset about earlier?"" Yeah ""So you knocked over a few spaghetti boxes at the store. No big deal"" I WAS A WORLD JENGA CHAMPION, SALLY"

"Ferguson Protestors looted a Payless Shoe store last night... Cleaned the place out, nothing left but work boots..."

"What do you do if life gives you melons? You're dyslexic."

"""Newt Gingrich"" sounds like the name of a villain that JK Rowling made up."

"Why can't redheads get drunk? Because they only drink Ginger Ale."