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Joke of the Day

"My GF is like my treasure... I buried her in my backyard yesterday."

"Hints are like bombs As long as they're really not subtle, You only need to drop one. But you drop a second one just to be really sure they got the message."

"Went to the doctor I told him everytime I have sex I cry. He explained it's from the mace."

"You know what's great about senility? You can hide your own Easter eggs."

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."

"My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!"

"I work as a Lie Detector for police interrogations. At least it's honest work."

"Jack is coming over. ""Jack from work or Jack and the..."" [a beanstalk comes up through the floor and crashes through the ceiling]"

"A kid asks if they had colors in the 1930s. Yeah, but you didn't see them all the way in the back of the bus."

"My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, ""Which one do you want?"" I said I'd take either/oar."