225928

Joke of the Day

"My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, ""Which one do you want?"" I said I'd take either/oar."

"Please, by all means, call my landline. I'll reply with a postcard attached to a helium balloon"

"ME: This electric toothbrush knocked a few of my teeth loose. DENTIST: That's an egg beater."

"What do you call a naked Winnie-The-Pooh Pooh-nography"

"New warning label: Quitting cigarettes significantly increases the amount of money you will have for pot."

"What's the difference between a hammer and a mallet? I don't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"How do you know when your gf is getting fat? When she fits into your wifes clothes"

"Knock Knock who's there? -it's a-me -Amy who? -it's a-me Mario."

"There's no toilet paper in this stall so I guess I live here now."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Lamborghini? The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine"