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Joke of the Day

"TIL if you type your password for all to see it gets censored. Look: 1337Penis Edit: GOD DANG IT"

"Zuckerberg's next aquisition will be twitter to complete his WTF trilogy."

"If you've never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you've never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch."

"On a stakeout. Getting bored. Wish these perps would do something. Oh crap. Got my dong stuck in my cd player."

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it date an emotionally available, age-appropriate, nice, single guy with a good job."

"In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband... - I should have married the devil instead of you! - Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden!"

"Only works in German - What is the biggest monkey? - Giraffe!"

"Billy Mays is in heaven now... Billy Mays is up in Heaven partying like it's $19.99."

"What do you call a Mexican rolling in sand? A churro."

"Why should trees never sign birthday cards? Because they're always so *Sappy*!"