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Joke of the Day

"I know sitting down to pee makes me less manly but I stand up to poop so it all pretty much evens out."

"Why does Fred Williard keep Kleenex in his pocket? They come in handy."

"What is a pedophile music teacher's favorite chord? A minor."

"Why do writers always feel cold? Because they are surrounded by drafts!"

"What is the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? The Boy Scout came back from camp."

"Why did microsoft go directly to windows 10? Because windows 7 8 9"

"6'5"" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-"

"late night science fact: if u laid out your veins from end to end u would die"

"How do you say virgin in German? Goodandtight"

"Her: ""Add insult to injury why don't you"" Me: ""Your broken leg looks fat in that cast"""