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Joke of the Day

"What does a sperm whale say after getting a massage? (NSFW) You're whale-cum!"

"You should really eat more turnips. They're really healthy Turnip, for what?"

"A recent survey shows... A recent survey shows that nine out of ten people masturbate in the shower. Do you know what the tenth does? No? I guess you're one of the nine then."

"Removed all the mirrors from my house because I'm tired of living with that asshole."

"Why couldn't the homosexual Irishman with an oral fixation order at the restaurant? He only spoke gaelic"

"*makes doctors appointment* *arrives 20 minutes early* *waits in doctors office for 7 hours*"

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up"

"What do you call with a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky"

"When do e-mails stop being in black and white? When they are read."

"I'm on pace to see 3.7 million Aflac commercials this college football season."