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Joke of the Day

"What do you call something that is long hard and full of semen? A Submarine."

"I had to pick a password that was 8 characters long. I went with 'snowwhiteandthesevendwarves'."

"My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall. I said ""maybe"""

"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"

"who said that girls don't have a good sense of direction? they sure know their way down."

"What did one strawberry say to the other? ""If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"""

"Why is Helium so trustworthy? Because HE's noble."

"After a shortcut through the ghetto, I see what the hood rats like to drive... Housing prices down."

"Chemistry Student I'm a science teacher and once I asked one of my lazy students if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium. He replied, 'Na, I don't'. Lucky sod, he's only ever right periodically."

"Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up."