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Joke of the Day

"After a shortcut through the ghetto, I see what the hood rats like to drive... Housing prices down."

"Did you fall from Haven? Me: ""Girl, did you fall from heaven?"" Her: ""Don't even think about it?"" Me: ""...because Satan did"""

"The REAL reason Bin Laden was buried at sea: Maggots have standards."

"You know what they say about incest... It's only relatively bad."

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

"My girlfriend just said that I put sports before our relationship. Bullshit. It's our sixth season together."

"How loud is John Cena? #xDb"

"You would think that if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster. I tried it, but they seem to be more sluggish."

"There's one way that jared joker can be better than Heath's. Just put a smile on his face with he's own knife."

"SNAKE: im gonna bite you SNAKE CHARMER: u are so sexy S: wha- SC: *presses finger to lips* still wana bite me? S: *blushes* well not anymore"