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Joke of the Day

"Chemistry Student I'm a science teacher and once I asked one of my lazy students if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium. He replied, 'Na, I don't'. Lucky sod, he's only ever right periodically."

"I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That's the problem w/commercials! They're not long enough!"

"4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb...? ...to get to the other side"

"According to my laptop, my New Year's resolution is 1680 x 1050."

"What's better at math than you a retarded Asian April fooly! Gotcha Burn April fooly"

"Katana is Japanese for ""sword"". In Japan they have great respect for swords and their moms dont knock them off the wall while vacuuming"

"What do you throw a drowning guitarist? His amp."

"Whats worst than a super long joke? A short one with no punchline"

"I was offered sex today... with a 21 year old and all I had to do was re-post a joke. I, of course, declined."