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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a whore moan? You don't pay her."
Next Joke
"Dream girl: -tall -skinny -can pull off wearing a hat -honest -a fan of the theater -abolished slavery -is Abraham Lincoln"
"My girlfriend is so ungrateful. Whenever I give her an orgasm... ... she just spits it out."
"My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard."
"You haven't Instagramed what you had for dinner yet? Please hurry up, the suspense is killing me."
"People who clap when the plane lands don't aim particularly high do they?"
"What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescendant con descending."
"My underwear is spoiled."
"To test my ability to emphasthize I tried to force myself to empathize with Brock Turner But if I learned anything from him it's that some things should never be forced"
"We'd be scared of beavers if trees screamed."