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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes... when you cry ... no one sees your tears... sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile... But fart just one time..."

"I don't get people that talk to themselves"

"Hate shaving? Cut some time out of your morning routine by leaping into the ocean and letting the tide drag you to a watery demise instead."

"I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room. For Jesus."

"I don't want to seem desperate, so I always wait at least 3 days before I call 911."

"What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet? The Site-anic."

"Wife: He only hears what he wants to hear... Therapist: Is this true? Me: She's right. Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time."

"Some advice to you lovers out there... They may say you cantaloupe, but honeydew it anyways."

"Another World's Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious."

"Overheard @ high school's red & white football game Clueless freshman: ""So, who are we playing?"" Crowd: ""It's intrasquad!"" Pregnant pause. Clueless freshman: ""So we're still going to lose!"""