170908

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the owl who fell in love with the goat? They had a hootin-nanny."

"What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho cheese. ...Ba-doom-tish."

"""Endless shrimp"" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop."

"So PornHub recently revealed what people all over the world were searching most frequently; finally answering a question I've always asked... What is this world coming to!?"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it."

"My State of the Union I am from Illinois, but I also lived in Arizona for a while."

"I'm just gonna go ahead and change my boys names to ""Stop making that stupid noise"" and ""Where are your shoes?""."

"""Brian did you remove some of the thread from your shirt logo?"" Me: [clearly enjoying people calling me the Hug Boss] what? No probably not"

"A man walks into a doctors office... Wearing nothing but plastic shrink wrap. The doctor says ""I can clearly see your nuts."""

"Apparently Mr. Skeltal joined the band Imagine Dragons. I heard they were going back to their doots."