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Joke of the Day

"Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive? Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks."

"when someone near me yawns i can't help but match the yawn with a visually similar scream"

"Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days."

"What do you call a super kind man who spends too much time on the beach? A tangent"

"A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He orders a drink"

"Tonight the 3-year-old asked: ""How did God make Himself?"" I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime."

"What do you call 5 black people having sex? A three-some."

"Dogs are like books The more you like them, the harder they are to put down. Edit: Grammar."

"What's Gordon Ramsey's second favorite movie? FROZE-- oh, nevermind."

"Because 'brunch' sounds better than 'I slept until 2pm, I have a hangover and I want pancakes.'"