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Joke of the Day

"Married sex is a lot like Prison sex... The sex you're wanting, you're not getting. And the sex you're getting, you're not wanting."

"I have feelings for you. Please take them and leave."

"What to do with a child soldier lower your aim. someone i met who is in the army told me this is what his sergeant told them, he didnt intend it as a joke."

"My friend Dave drowned yesterday his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted."

"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey anymore? He kept on getting nailed into the boards."

"If the opposite of impossible is Possible & the opposite of immature is Mature, you can conclude that i'm a very Portant person to some."

"Most people love a good munch box Lunch*"

"I found a dead girl on the golf course It was a difficult shot, but I was able to chip it over her head and right up onto the green."

"You hear the one about the 13 inch ruler? Never mind. It's too long."

"Did you hear? There was an active shooter at the observatory! He was shooting for the stars!"