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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear? There was an active shooter at the observatory! He was shooting for the stars!"
Next Joke
"I've always wanted to be the best dead person ever But the competition is stiff."
"Clueless boyfriend walks into publix to buy condoms. Can't find them. Finally goes in the right aisle. Proceeds to have sex. Publix: where shopping is a pleasure... ...or lack there of."
"What's the difference between your dick and your jokes? Nobody laughs at your jokes."
"Who are the hamburgers favourite people? Vegetarians!"
"Q: What is hail? A: Hard-boiled rain."
"I met a girl in a bar last night and she said she wanted the night to be magical.... So I fucked her and disappeared."
"Taking their kid to a PG-13 movie must be a tough call for 13 year old mothers."
"My mailbox is overflowing, my spam folder and junk folder rival each other in size, and I keep procrastinating on dealing with it... But one day I'm gonna go clean all that up, you just wait and DNC."
"Hey, maybe one time we could make a sitcom where the husband is out of the wife's league and the wife says stupid shit all the time."