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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Rabbi who made his own fireworks? He called them Mazel Tov Cocktails ^(I am **so** sorry) ^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out."

"""Opinions are like assholes..."" ""... I like yours."" -SO this morning"

"Most people go talk to a therapist, family, or friends to get shit off their chest... ...I however just go take a shower."

"What's the difference between a camera and a foot? A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)"

"Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter? He was Snowden."

"When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's."

"An impotent man... ... named his dick Magikarp. Because it's useless and can only splash."

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a Holy Shit they're done!"

"What did the grad students call the new Asian post-doc? The Yellow Fellow."

"Life on earth is expensive, but it does include an annual free trip around the sun"