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Joke of the Day

"When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's."

"The only reason an IKEA kitchen will last you 25 years is because it takes 23 years to put it together"

"What happens when you cross an American and a polar bear. Same as before, lazy and fat."

"The less you love a woman, the faster your hand gets tired."

"FB sent me a notification. It said my meth lab on Farmville blew up."

"I told this girl that I was an architect. It's true in a way, since I now have to design an intricate web of lies to back it up."

"There are only two reasons to hate gay marriage. Either you're dumb or you're secretly worried that dicks are delicious."

"I can't believe I lost my candidacy for mayor of my hometown I kissed so many hands and shook so many babies."

"If the world is getting smaller why do postal rates keep going up?"

"Man: ""I think I saw a UFO last night"" UFO with fake moustache: ""Nah, it was probably one of them optical gases or something"""