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Joke of the Day

"I may have Alzheimer's... ... but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!"

"I hate it when you hold the door open for people And all they can say is, ""Oh fucking hell, I can see you having a shit!"""

"Held the door open for a japenese women today she said ""sank you"" I replied ""we blew you up"" She hit me with her walking stick... Apparently she meant thank you Edit: grammar mistake"

"Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way."

"My ex-girlfriend tried joining the slut club... But all their positions were filled."

"The inventor of the USB cable died recently. They're still trying to figure out which way to put his casket in the ground."

"Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? He was drinking on the job."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? ...it doesn't matter, he isn't going to come anyways."

"How can people get engaged after dating less than a year? You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker"

"What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome."