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Joke of the Day

"How can people get engaged after dating less than a year? You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker"

"You say tomato, I say tomato But it doesn't make that much sense when you read it."

"STAYCATION DAY 1: Filled the birdbath with Nescafe just to see the startled look on those vagrant House Finches."

"2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds What a waste of thyme!"

"What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him."

"Dad says he's practicing Tai Chi to learn how to align his 'Chi's Now, he says, he just needs to learn how to align his crackers, and he'll be able to make a perfect party platter."

"What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater? You miss most of the film."

"My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy. It's one part rum, three parts pum."

"Our society makes women ashamed and unhappy with their bodies. I, for one, have always been disappointed by the lack of cupholders on mine."

"What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !"