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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when you hold the door open for people And all they can say is, ""Oh fucking hell, I can see you having a shit!"""

"Summer was especially good this year in Canada... If I recall correctly it was a friday"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. The tricky part is getting them in there."

"She said she hates my analogies and wishes I would communicate like a normal person, but that's like telling a samurai not to use his sword"

"My city was so poor growing up that Planned Parenthood was just a bicycle without a seat."

"I like dating black girls Because I don't have to meet their dads"

"I had a teacher in high school who always assumed we'd give the wrong answer. ""What's hotter, green or red peppers?"" Green ""Nope. Green."""

"What does a condom and a wife have in common? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick"

"A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherf*cker."

"Why is unprotected ear sex unsafe? You can get hearing aids."