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Joke of the Day

"How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb? Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke."

"Don't buy drinks from children on the side of the road. The money never really goes to aid for lemons."

"""You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark."" The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 14 years... I'm going to hell."

"advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being ""better than sex"" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them"

"The thing about good music is.. ...its technically sound."

"My son likes to kick things. He really needs a dog or a wife."

"Grooming tip: Cut your toenails every 2 to 24 weeks whether they need it or not."

"What do you call it when a prayer is answered? A coincidence."

"I'm claustrophobic... I'm afraid of Santa."