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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 14 years... I'm going to hell."

"Confucius say man who drops watch in toilet... ...has shitty time"

"I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I will still cut you."

"This is how good my dog is, LOL. I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don't chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. Rodney Dangerfield"

"Why did Moohamad eat his wives out so much? Allah spoke the kuran to him through the bush."

"I always suspected that Matthew McConaughey was a rebel. That suspicion was confirmed when I saw what he wore every single day after Labor Day. All white, all white, all white."

"The judge gave me 7 days to live... So I shot myself. The doctor gave me 4 months. Problem solved. B)"

"I like to stare at a Priest & say ""You wore that same outfit last week"" so he thinks I go to church every week & knows I'm on to his shit."

"After my doctor performed my prostate exam he left the room... Soon my nurse walked in and with a puzzled look asked, ""Who was that?"""

"Just checked into hotel in Miami. They have a separate pool for redheaded people. I thought we were past this."