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Joke of the Day

"Her: What veggies are the kids having with dinner? Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes..."

"What do you with a crazy girl knocking on your door? You don't let her out."

"How do you pleasure a capitalist? An invisible handjob."

"A woman walks into a bar... ...and ruins the joke."

"Relationship status: My wife calls me her chauffeur because I drive her nuts..."

"The thermostat was invented 125 years ago, but I have yet to work in an office with one that has anything but Africa and Sibera as settings."

"So there was this fish that was swimming along and saw a wall. And said, dam!"

"DOG BOSS: Any messages for me? DOG ASSISTANT: just one from Mr. Agoodboy DOG BOSS: who's Agoodboy? DOG ASSISTANT: *tail starts wagging*"

"Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex"

"So a deer walks out of the woods and says... That's the last time I will ever do that for two bucks"