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Joke of the Day

"So a deer walks out of the woods and says... That's the last time I will ever do that for two bucks"

"I've just de-flowered a virgin. I mugged a Pokemon Go player coming out of a florists."

"What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined? The Beatless"

"Matter is the Real MVP m = V * p"

"I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces"

"What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long? Polaroids. ^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful."

"Sadly,the man who invented the raffle has passed away. R.I.P Tom Bola."

"What is a grape without 'g'? It's still a grape, just without gravity."

"Inspiring to see someone lift himself up by his own bootstraps. But soon you'll wonder what you're doing at a fucking magic show."

"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"