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Joke of the Day
"Relationship status: My wife calls me her chauffeur because I drive her nuts..."
Next Joke
"*talking into the phone, loudly enough that I know those ladies can hear me* WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA."
"-hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! -oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-"
"I just had a phone call saying I'd won 250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It said Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show......"
"Father, pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, forgive me, for I have synonymed."
"Why do Italian men grow moustaches? They want to look like their mothers."
"what ya doing... your mum"
"What do we want? Racing car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeeeooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"
"You've gotta hand it to short people.. Usually because they can't reach it"
"How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb? None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!"