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Joke of the Day

"Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex"

"My husband went camping w/ his buddies. He packed a hatchet, 2 liters of Jack & a 3yo's Hello Kitty sleeping bag. He's gonna die out there."

"Tried to console my ex after losing her bf and all I could muster was, ""there's plenty more married men out there."""

"The internet is the devil sitting on the right shoulder of a man who suffers from insomnia, whispering in his ear ""you will never sleep""."

"What's the difference between fire and water? Everything, dumbass"

"How does an insane man get through the forest? By taking the psychopath. hhhhehehhehe good one right? yeh? no..? ok."

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. So, I got drunk."

"668 The neighbour of the beast."

"What do you call a sexually active spaghetti? Fetishini Alfredo"

"So I brought a girl home from the bar last night... When we got to bed, she said ""Give me twelve inches and make me bleed!"" So I fucked her twice and punched her in the face."