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Joke of the Day

"""You know what? Guys should play ALL the parts. We could even wear dresses and kiss and stuff."" - Shakespeare's gay friend"

"Where do twin lesbians meet up? A Clone Dyke Bar."

"A nun is put to death by a firing squad.... She lived and died holey."

"Ripping a blaring fart every now and then lets your masseuse know who's in charge."

"My doctor told me to stop drinking today...then he told me to stop laughing."

"How many redditors commenting on a given post does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not possible. Their hands are too slippery with each other's ejaculate."

"""I'm on my way."" -People who haven't even left the house yet."

"What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla? my zipper!"

"Me: Threesome? Wife: When pigs fly! Do I wish for flying pigs? Pro: Threesome Con: High bacon prices *has idea *starts building catapult"

"What do you call a cow... What do you call a cow with three legs? *Tri-tip.* What do you call a cow with two legs? *Lean beef.* What do you call a cow with no legs? *Ground beef.*"