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Joke of the Day

"What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla? my zipper!"

"There is never an excuse to use a contract killer Always pay-as-you-go."

"I'm Anti-Choice. I think EVERY woman should have an abortion."

"There are always two ways to look at things. I prefer to look at them my way."

"What did the Pirate say on his birthday? Ayy Matey"

"Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying ""sorry breaking up with you"" or that a minute later she text me back ""sorry wrong number."""

"I was surprised Oscar Pistorius owned a gun in the first place. I would have thought he preferred blades."

"I came here to kick ass and chew gum... And I've got new, longer-lasting Stride, so we'll be here for a while."

"Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 89% water. I can walk on babies. I am... in jail."

"What did the jealous prostitute say at the orgy? Don't blow this for me."