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Joke of the Day

"When my wife starts to sing.......... When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"What do you call a happy prosecutor? Smiles Edgeworth."

"What is Blair Walsh's favorite song? I have no idea honestly, you would have to ask him"

"I don't ALWAYS post filthy tweets, but when I do, it is right after I'm followed by someone with ""my Lord and Savior"" in their bio."

"I can't figure out if I only date girls with self esteem issues because I'm ugly or because we have something in common"

"This Obama guy is the worst rapper ever."

"(OC) What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper? Hello, I'm here to Peru-se your inventory."

"*brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut."

"""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft."

"When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses."