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Joke of the Day

"I can't figure out if I only date girls with self esteem issues because I'm ugly or because we have something in common"

"A female midget FBI agent went undercover to bust a drug gang by sleeping with gang members. She was known as the Little Fed Riding Hood."

"Are you British Explorer James Cook? Cuz I wanna turn yo land down under into a penal colony."

"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."

"I almost got raped in jail ... My family takes monopoly way too seriously."

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you. Iv got an ear infucktion. Better assk again."

"What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up."

"What is the definition of a Wife? An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done."

"Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face."

"What would you do if you were a ghost?"