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Joke of the Day

"When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses."

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Big tits."

"Told my 11 and 8 next time I take their electronics away I'd also be responding to all texts they receive.They've been well behaved since."

"Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I Love My Grand-dog"" and I think l'm going to be ok."

"Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up? Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it."

"What's the fastest thing in Bulgaria? Light"

"Why does Mexico never win the Olympics? Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left."

"What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird!"

"There's a band called 1023mb They haven't had any gigs yet."

"""Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead"" she hexed."