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Joke of the Day

"Me: I need to sleep Ambien: do worms have buttholes? You should text your boss"

"Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms? The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me."

"Did you hear about the cannibal? He dumped his girlfriend...*flies away*"

"Every time I click ""Remember Me"" on a login page, I get a little sad thinking about my fleeting existence... ...But some cookies would brighten my day! Disclaimer: Made this joke up just now."

"Good thing the flames... Didn't make it to the cup. They would be playing water polo, not ice hockey."

"What's the difference between Obama supporters and Romney supporters? Romney supporters sign their checks on the front. Obama supporters sign their checks on the back."

"What do you say to a black guy after washing his dog? Yo dawg I washed yo dog."

"I'm not kidding Santa is waiting outside my house til it's ""late enough"" to go down my chimney"

"I'm an A-Z expert on Olympics now thanks to Rio! From Athletics to zika!"

"Did you know ""bathtub"" backwards is still ""bathtub""? It's not, but for a second there you believed me."